“Sir, we’ve detected an unusual electromagnetic signature,” Lieutenant Zhang reported, his eyes fixed on the monitor. “It appears to be… a giant microwave?”

Colonel Wang looked up from his cup of instant noodles, chopsticks frozen midway to his mouth. “A what now?”

“A microwave, sir. About the size of a small building. It just materialized outside the base perimeter.”

The colonel slurped up his noodles thoughtfully. “Well, that’s certainly new. Usually, we get UFOs or mysterious lights. Never had kitchen appliances before.”

As if responding to their conversation, the massive microwave emitted a loud “ding.” Its door slowly creaked open, revealing a mysteriously glowing interior.

“Should we shoot it, sir?” asked Zhang, hand hovering over the alarm button.

“Hold on,” Wang raised his hand. “Let’s not be hasty. What if it’s just trying to heat up the planet’s leftovers?”

A metallic voice suddenly boomed across the base: “GREETINGS, EARTHLINGS. WE COME IN PEACE. WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR PLANET DEFROSTED OR HEATED ON HIGH?”

Wang grabbed his microphone. “Excuse me, but we prefer our planet at room temperature, thank you very much.”

“INVALID SELECTION. DEFAULT SETTING: POPCORN MODE ACTIVATED.”

“Oh shit,” muttered Wang, watching as the giant microwave began to hum ominously. “Zhang, get me the President on the line. Tell him… tell him we’re about to become the world’s largest bag of popcorn.”

The situation room erupted into chaos as officials argued over appropriate countermeasures. Someone suggested throwing a giant metal fork at it, which was quickly vetoed due to obvious safety concerns.

“Sir,” Zhang interrupted, “I think I have an idea. Remember how my wife always complains about our microwave at home?”

“Is this really the time for domestic affairs, Lieutenant?”

“The power supply, sir. Every time she runs the microwave with the coffee maker, it trips the circuit breaker.”

Wang’s eyes lit up. “Zhang, you brilliant son of a gun. Get me our power station engineers. We’re going to give our visitor a taste of its own medicine.”

Within hours, they had rigged the entire base’s power grid to surge at once. As the alien microwave began its final countdown, Wang gave the signal.

“NOW!”

The resulting power surge was spectacular. The giant microwave sputtered, sparked, and finally went dark with an anticlimactic “plink.”

When its door swung open again, out stumbled three very confused-looking aliens holding a TV dinner and wearing “Kiss the Cook” aprons.

“Our sincerest apologies,” the tallest alien squeaked. “We were actually looking for Galaxy Kitchen 2.0. Our GPS must have malfunctioned.”

Wang looked at his cold cup of instant noodles, then back at the aliens. “Well, since you’re here… any chance you could heat this up for me? Our break room microwave has been broken for weeks.”

The aliens happily obliged, and that’s how Earth’s first interstellar diplomatic relations began - over a perfectly heated cup of instant noodles.

As for the giant microwave? It now serves as the base’s cafeteria. They say the coffee there is out of this world.